Fire In The HOLE!
by Belligerent-road-pylon
Summary: When a suspicious substance which Jet calls 'food' is introduced into the Be Bop, Faye retaliates the only way she knows how. FOODFIGHT!~~~please read and review people! PLEASE!~~~


**Authors Notes: Howdy Ya'll! This here be the first Cowboy Bebop ever written by the likes of moi!**

**So be nice! And REVIEW! Please. Or I will cry.**

**Yeah, yeah I know! They aren't mine. They are Sunrises. But if Spike was mine…well lets just say it would be illegal in every state and province. And I am not talkin murder here people. **

**He he he XD**

Faye picked mundanely at her food. She glanced suspiciously at it; she could swear it was taunting her. Faye gingerly poked the greyish brown mass. 

"Uhg!" she yelled in defeat. Her shipmates looked up in wonderment

"Whash?" Jet slurred through the brown sludge that was packed into his mouth. 

Faye through up her hands in disgust "How can you eat this stuff! I can't even tell what it is!!!"

"It is fooo-oood! Faye-Faye!" Edward had some how gotten a hold of chop sticks and was using them to shovel her food into her mouth. Using her feet.

"So Jet said when he brought the stuff in, but right now I am voting for a more plausible substance. Like the slime that Spike scrapped off of the hull of the BeBop.

Spike pointed his fork at her, "Hey! That slime was green!"

Ed and Ein were now licking out Ed's bowl with much enthusiasm.  Faye looked at Spike as he shoved another fork full of food in his mouth. 

"That is so vile! How can you stand the taste of that!?" 

Spike grinned "Cigarettes kill taste buds" 

Edward laughed maniacally like that was the funniest thing she had ever heard. Faye just rolled her eyes.

Spike's grin widened "She thought I was funny" 

"Yah well she named her laptop Tomato and is shares personality traits with the dog. So her finding your jokes funny isn't really sayin' much now is it?"

Edward cart wheeled over to press her nose up against Faye's. "You know what they say Faye-Faye! If you eat your Strong you grow up to be big and food!" said Edward in a solemn voice. She then gave a high pitch squeak/giggle and forward rolled back to Ein and 'their' bowl.

"UGH!! JEEEET!!! Where in gods name did you get this stuff?!"

Jet swallowed "In Town of course, It was cheep. If I bought it in bulk."

"Bulk?! Exactly how much did you have to buy to get this _cheep price?!"_

Jet grinned, "10 woulongs for 30 pounds"

Faye Screamed. "THIRTY POUNDS!! I can't eat a plate of this stuff let alone thirty pounds!"

Jet studied Faye for a second and then continued "so I figured at that kind of price might as well get 60!"

Faye stared agape. "Wha?-W-w…HOW COULD YOU!! Did you even try it?!"

Jet shrugged "I think it tastes fine enough, plus it has lots of added minerals and stuff, figured I couldn't go wrong."

Faye steamed, "Well Jet, Ya did."

Her fuming was interrupted by a high pitch squeal of delight "Edward and Ein love it Jet person! Make us "**TALL LIKE MOUNTIAN, STRONG LIKE BULL!"  Edward then continued to chat this over and over again while monkey barring her way across the pipes on the ceiling.**

Spike pointed his fork at Faye again, "you see Faye, eat up so you be tall like mountain, and strong like bull". 

On hearing this Edward made several popping noises with her mouth and latched on to Spikes waist in a bone crunching hug. "See! Spike understands Ed! TALL LIKE MOUNTIAN!" 

Spike pumped his fist and yelled out "STRONG LIKE BULL!" 

Ed squealed in delight and danced around Spike with Ein barking at her heels as Spike and the diminutive hacker chanted out "tall like mountain, strong like bull!" 

Their shouts were interrupted by an Unidentified Flying mass of brown slop colliding with the side of Spikes face. Edward stared big eyed and for once silent as Spike finger the slimy brown mass. The amazed silence was broken by a stifled giggle emitted by Faye, spoon in hand.

Edward let loose a loud war cry and screamed "I SHALL PROTECT THEE SPIKE! COME HITHER EIN, WE DO BATTLE!" Ed did a 'round-about' off of the edge of the arm of the couch and landed neatly beside the large pot of warm food. She stopped only a moment to fasten her goggles firmly over her eyes before sticking her hand into the pot and screaming "ATTACK!" Edwards throw landed directly on target. Right in Faye's face.

"AHRG!!!! I'll get YOU for that!!!" Faye flung another well aimed goo missile that hit Ed in the ear.

"AIEEEEE!" Edward quickly grabbed the pot and jumped onto Spikes shoulders. "TAKE THAT VILE FIEND!" and threw handful after handful at the angry charging rocket known as Faye. 

Spike was only able to utter "ACK!" before being hit in the mouth with another lumpy Sludge ball! He quickly retaliated with two well aimed shots of his own. Ein happily skittered around barking and liking up the fallen food.

Jet just searched for cover. "DAMNIT SPIKE! I AM **NOT cleaning this u-" his words cut short by a shot gone astray, landing on his bald head. The room fell silent again as Jets face turned several strange colours. "THAT'S IT!" He stuck his hand into his plate and started his own assault on the enemy.**

Edward flipped the small table onto its side and dragged Ein by his tail behind her make-shift bunker. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" she screamed as she launched another attack on the three adults.

Laughter, giggles and the occasional promise of death resounded off of the walls of the bounty hunting ship. It was more happiness than had been heard since… never.

~few hours later~

Jet slowly worked his way across the walls of the BeBop picking off the food that was starting to dry. The work was slow going and all Faye's fault, though he couldn't really be mad at her, it had been lots of fun. Jet looked around the room seeing no one.

But he shouldn't have to clean up the 'fun' by himself. "Spike?" 

He heard a faint murmur and swung his attention over to the couch. He couldn't help but smile.

Faye was sleeping in the corner of couch, Spike head was resting on her lap. Faye's arm was draped over Spikes chest, her hand lightly gripping his arm her other hand placed in his hair like it had been freeze framed in mid caress. Edward was curled up against Spike, face pressed against his sternum, thin arm wrapped around his lean waist. Spikes long arm enveloped her thin shoulders. A faint smile tickling his lips. Ein curled up at their feet.

Jet smiled. _Oh well, I can do it tomorrow. He looked at his pile of snoozing friends. __And then the sleeping beauties can help._

**THAT IS THE CONCLUSION….. **

**~~ Ok people, how was it? Good? Bad? EXCELLENT? So bad you wanted to vomit?! So GOOD you wanted to vomit? Either way Tell Me HOW IT WAS?!!! Please! Should I continue writing CBB fics? Thank you *bows***


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